Primal (2010)

Let's start with a nice, low-budget flick from down under: Primal. The storyline is as basic as a group of friends throwing themselves deep into the Australian wild to investigate a series of ancient paintings upon the entrance of a dark cave where, you might have guessed it already, an ancient evil lurks. As it is also expected, this evil is quickly awaken by the claustrophobic Anja upon entering the cave with her friends when she cuts her arm -then consequently bleeds on the ground- as she has a panic attack.

But don't hasten yourself, everything remains calm for the friends to show us their poor and clichéd character development. We have Anja the claustrophobic, Mel the slut, Chad the sad excuse of a man who also happens to be Mel's boyfriend, Dace the alpha male, Warren the comical relief and Kris the chickenshit filler girl. All is swell and the friends don't seem to mind that in the forest around them dwell creatures that look like this:

So they party midly. And the slutty Mel does slutty things like skinny dipping in a pond nearby in the middle of the night, just to come out of it with plenty of leeches savouring her slutty goodness. Next thing we know, the poor Mel is running a high fever and spitting out her teeth. There is an attempt of her friends to take her to the nearest town for help but for some reason, the ants around the area have a sweet tooth for car tires. Stucked in the deep jungle, the friends have to wait out and unfortunately for them, Mel wakes up in a little bit of a bad mood.

She's gone primal. After this point, the movie moves on to a faster pace of the crazed-up blonde going after anything with a pulse to feed herself and, well, the mysterious cave. Even though the low-budget can shine through certain parts of the film, Primal proved itself to be quite enjoyable. It's vicious creatures at its best. I did find the uselessness of certain characters to be exhasperating, but at the end of the movie I realized that's what kept me watching. And we have to admit it, he looks kinda scary:

What to expect?

Fast-paced storyline, loud & vicious creatures, wild & weird sex, cheesy special effects, blood and one of the biggest douchebags in horror history: Chad.

"I made a boo-boo so now I'm crying."

Hellnation's Rating: 6/10